i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
