that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
