I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
