i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
