their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
