do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize