ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
