your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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