How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
