I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize