Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
