I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
