Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
