Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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