Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
