After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
