should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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