They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
