p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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