shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
