i think my tv is drunk
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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