I love black thongs
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I need to stop coming to work sober
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
