I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
