My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
