he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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