I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
