what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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