he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
