Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
