As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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