I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
