You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We need to get me chipped asap
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
