sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
