Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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