It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
