Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
