she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
