Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
