i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Please don't give away my fajitas
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