i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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