Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
