Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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