Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Also, beer. Big fan.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
