i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
