420 ftw
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
