it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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