You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
