No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
