i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
