I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
