Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My vagina is officially offended.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
