Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I got inside last night via doggy door
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize