I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
