dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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