Christians are straight up FREAKS
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
