That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
