I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize