Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize