I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
