I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
