don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
