i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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