Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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