I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
