He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just found puke in my bra..
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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