just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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