I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
