your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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