This girl is more easily done than said...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize