so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
