if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
