Cold hands, warm shart.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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