If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
