I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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