Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
