I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
