found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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