Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
