I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
