is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
