then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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