he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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