you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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